Article 3030 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-24-2009
Posting Date: 11-30-2009
Directed by Albert Pyun
Featuring Andrew Dice Clay, Teri Hatcher, Yuji Okumoto
A bouncer known as Brain Smasher helps a supermodel who is being chased by masked Chinese martial artists who are trying to get their hands on a magic flower that will give them Ultimate Power.
Andrew Dice Clay was a comedian from the late eighties/early nineties. I never saw his act, though I highly doubt it would have appealed to me, so I can't compare how well this action comedy captures his style. I will say this much though; most of the humor in this movie revolves around three things; first, the hero is called Brain Smasher because he beats people up; second, everybody finds the story of flower-seeking masked Chinese martial artists loose in Portland, Oregan hard to believe, and thirdly, the Chinese martial artists take exception to being called ninjas. This covers about ninety percent of the humor in the movie, and if you're doubled over in laughter, you'll probably like this one just fine. If, like me, you're still waiting to feel the urge to giggle, you'd be better off enjoying it as an action movie, in which case it's just dumb silliness and tired cliches. The fantastic content is the magic flower, and though it's tempting to call it a Gizmo Maguffin, it's not really a gizmo, so let's call it a Floral Maguffin. I wouldn't wait to find out what Ultimate Power it wields; the movie never delivers on that concept, so the fantastic content is truly questionable. Let's face it; there's just not much here worth paying attention to.